Driving back from Akron, a trip I'll explain later, I had some time to think to myself and listen to some out-of-town radio. It was one of those drives where the seek button goes almost all the way around landing on two, maybe three stations. My listening options were a bad top 40 station, country western, or religious talk-radio. I settled on top 40. While driving I came to three inarguable conclusions. 1: Justin Bieber is dangerously terrible, 2: I dislike people who have stick-figure versions of their families stickered to the back window of their mini-vans, and 3: Steve Mason, the goalie for the Columbus Blue Jackets, is an operative from the NHL sent to destroy the Columbus Blue Jackets.
I was in Akron to catalog my late grandfather's massive collection of books about magic so we can sell them at an event called "Magi-fest". That's a true story. Do your relatives a favor and don't leave them with a strange hobby - they'll appreciate it - but I can't fault the man for pursuing his interests and if he had one true passion it was the art and scholarship of the performing magician. He owned 36 books on Harry Houdini alone which disproves the old saying that if you've read one book about Houdini then you've read them all. Shut up, that's a saying.
He also had framed posters, elaborate tricks, and loads of memorabilia. His house is a veritable museum of Magic pariphernalia. A really messy, dusty museum.
Sometimes people don't believe that my grandfather was a magician. These are his live doves.
Whether Akron, Ohio televises Columbus Blue Jackets games is unknown to me because the cable in his house was disconnected months ago. We watched the last game of the Western Canada road trip via ether-net cable and a well-kept secret of a website whose name I will not publish. Okay, it rhymes with shmay-tdhe.net. Don't tell too many people.
The short length of the ether-net cable meant that I had to sit right next to the doves' cage. I tried my hardest to ignore them, but I found it difficult. Disgustingly difficult. Birds are gross and "Coo-dini 6" and "Coo-dini 7" cooed the whole time. Coo-dini's 1 through 5 either escaped during shows or were eaten off the back porch by racoons. If I was given the choice between being locked in a room with a bengal tiger or 75 birds. I'd choose the Tiger. At least I'd get to pet it while it ate me and there wouldn't be thousands of nasty feathers everywhere. I'll touch a decayed dead fish before I touch a live bird.
The last game of the road trip to western Canada took place in Edmonton, Alberta. A desolate frozen wasteland that has two things, a bad NHL team (who somehow made it to game 7 of the finals in 06) and a gigantic mall with an indoor wave pool. Edmonton is also the home of my adopted Canadian Football League team, the Edmonton Eskimos. They somehow managed to miss the playoffs in an eight team league where six teams make the playoffs. Sports hate me.
The first two games of the 3-gamer were overtime losses. Against Calgary head coach Scott Arniel started Steve Mason in net. Five minutes into the game the Blue Jackets were down 2-0 on a couple of softies by Jarome Iginla and Brendan Morrison. Mason was so poorly positioned you could've scored with a beach ball.
weird that the NHL would actually let them play with a beach ball
Arniel pulled him after the second goal. I love this move, by the way. I don't understand why coaches leave in goaltenders who clearly aren't mentally in the game. They let the goalie give up 4, 5, 6 goals before they pull him and by then the game is out of hand. Arny put in backup Mathieu Garon who played perfectly. The Jackets tied it late, but lost in OT thanks to a power play goal. Even though it was a loss, Arniel should've gotten one of the three stars for the game. Giving Mason the hook after two goals gave the Jackets the opportunity to come back.
Garon started the next game against the Vancouver Canucks, which also resulted in an overtime loss. That said, you have to like the effort in shutting down the red hot Sedin twins and if it weren't for Ohio State Buckeye and USA Olympic hero, Ryan Kesler and his hat-trick, the CBJ would've taken the full two points. One point in the Canucks' barn against a team of Vancouver's ability is strong.
The next night Mason got the start in Edmonton. The Oilers are in last place in the Western Conference and a win for the Blue Jackets would've meant 4 out of a possible 6 points on the road trip. Didn't happen. Three Oiler goals in the first period were followed by three more in the 2nd period. Steve Mason did not return for the third period and the Blue Jackets lost 6-3. Kristian Huselius did end up with a hat trick, though.
In two relief appearances Mathieu Garon gave up one goal. Were it not for Steve Mason the Blue Jackets likely would've won both the Calgary and Edmonton games and the CBJ would be higher in the standings.
Steve Mason is a baffling case study. He showed up in 2008 as a relatively unknown kid. He was a third round draft pick and before the call-up to the NHL he'd only played 3 minor league games. All he did that season was lead the Blue Jackets to their first playoff appearance in franchise history and win the Calder trophy as rookie of the year. He led the league with ten shutouts and posted a goals against average below 2.3. (read: good)
Since the end of the 2008-2009 regular season Mason has never looked the same. He had a bad series against Detroit in the playoffs, but his performance in the postseason looks great in comparison to his second regular season. Mason's second season should be the definition for the sophomore slump. His goals against average was over three (read: bad) and his win/loss record was 15 games below .500. Games were tossed away with large first period deficits. In one particularly bad game in Denver, he gave up four goals in the first four minutes.
This season started promising, but since a 14-6 start the Blue Jackets are 3-8-3. They have 9 out of a possible 28 points in their last 14 games (read: bad). The December slide has returned and Steve Mason is a big part of the problem. Since the start of the 2009 season no goalie has been pulled from more starts than Steve Mason. 12 times he's gotten the hook. Each of those games ended in a loss.
The guy clearly has the ability to play at a high level, but right now his positioning his off and his rebound control is atrocious. On a team with less than stellar defense to swat away rebounds, you need solid rebound control. He was a phenomenon his rookie season, but it's apparent that his problems are mental.
Outside of NFL quarterback there is no position more mentally demanding than NHL goaltender. It requires a cool confidence and a short memory. Mason seems to have lost both. In his rookie season his confidence built to the point where he was stringing together shutout stretches and making Hasek-esque saves. Now the tide has turned in the other direction.
Along with field goal kickers and relief pitchers, ice hockey Goalies are one of the biggest collections of whack-jobs in sports. The two I played with in high school were the two goofiest nuts on the team, and that team had a guy who got married a year out of high school to a girl he met on craig'slist.
I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to play goalie. For one, it's a simple numbers game. Only two goalies make a team and only one gets to play in a game. There are 18 skaters and you're basically guaranteed playing time. If you want playing time, don't play goalie.
Second reason I don't understand goalies: there is no sport with the grace and creativity that hockey requires. Scoring a goal at any point can be one of the most euphoric moments in sports. It takes a certain craziness to look at the beautiful game of hockey, to watch the athleticism combined with incredible finesse, to watch the guys scoring goals, to watch the speed and physicality and then say to yourself I'd like to be the guy that stands at the other end in bulky equipment twice as expensive and three times heavier. I want to be the guy who doesn't get to fly down the ice, score goals, or celebrate with teammates. Also, about 35 times a game I'd like to get hit with a hard rubber disc. Sign me up.
Choosing to play goalie spits in the face of one of the most beautiful games ever conceived and that's why every team's weirdest guy is the goaltender. The mental side of the game is huge and Steve Mason isn't dealing with walking that line between stable and crazy.
For the time being, Matty Garon has been named the number one goalie and Mason has been relegated to backup. The best thing for Mason would probably be a stint in the minor leagues, but because he isn't on a two way contract, he'd have to clear waivers to get sent down. Any number of teams would likely snatch him up and because the Blue Jackets haven't given up on him, they'd like to avoid that.
All I know is that if he isn't careful people are going to start calling him "Sieve" Mason (get it?) He needs to step his game up and if the Blue Jackets are going to go anywhere this season they're going to need Sieve Mason (see what I did there?) to play better. If not, the Blue Jackets will miss the playoffs again and Sieve Mason (sigh, a sieve is a colander like thing used in cooking. It's also a term often used in hockey circles to describe a goalie with lots of holes in his game. It's funny.) will find himself outside of the NHL. That'd be all the motivation I need and the Blue Jackets really can't afford many more seasons out of the playoffs.
On the drive home the top 40 radio station played two Justin Bieber songs within the same half hour. I'll give the kid credit, he can somewhat sing, but it's everything else that makes him intolerable. In Akron we watched a rerun of a CSI episode in which Bieber plays one of the side parts that helps the gang solve the crime. You can tell his agents were essentially auditioning him for movie parts. What his agents may not have considered is how awful he might be. You could literally see his acting coach off camera directing him.
Steve Mason against Edmonton was as bad as Justin Bieber's acting on the CSI rerun and just as annoying as the people with stick-figure families on their minivans. The goalie who was so good as a 19 year old rookie is the reason for the Blue Jackets slide over the last two years. If he can get his stuff together then the Blue Jackets could be magical.
Sports hate me.
Sports hate me.
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